What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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