I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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