What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why? Because.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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1d

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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A lil girl walks in to a bar........................ all a sudden a giant purple bunny jump up into her butt... now every time she poops its an easter egg hunt. LBall

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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