Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops