How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's 2+2? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops