What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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A seal walks into a club.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops