What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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