What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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have safe sex

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Fox News

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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