Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Chuck Norris.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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