Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hats better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops