how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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=3

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a man makes a bad joke

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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human centipede

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Chris Bosh's neck

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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