Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Whats worse than a joke? This

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

What did billy get after sex? Herpes

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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