What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Jebron Lames.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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