What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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