There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

What is green and is not grass A frogg

Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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