How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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V I T A M I N C !

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Granny porn!

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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