Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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A pope meets another one

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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