"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Women's rights

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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