I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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neil likes pube toast

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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