How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Who's cooler than Ellie?? Turtleman hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops