Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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