Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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