CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Badabing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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