A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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