What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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