What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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