What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops