there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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the economy.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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