Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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