chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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