What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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