What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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