Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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guess what? bannanas

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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