I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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