Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

What's brown and sticky A stick

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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