whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

12/23/2012

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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