How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Lil Wayne

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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