There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops