Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

your face

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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