what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

who is not good looking? mon morello

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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