Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

Albert <3 Hunter

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...