Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +6

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

thumb_up thumb_down +6

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops