What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

thumb_up thumb_down -23

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops