A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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