How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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