why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

Whats brown and smells bad poo

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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