How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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