To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

Knock Knock Come in

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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