Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...