Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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Dwarf Shortage

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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