What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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whats funny about the klu klux klan? nothing is funny at all about it because they cause pain and suffering to afircan amaricans and other ethnic groups.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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