A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Maths.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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