His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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drugs.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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