The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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