What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops