How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Knock Knock Come in

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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