Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops