Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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