How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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