what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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