What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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